I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize