It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
