but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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