You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
