Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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