We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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