You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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