Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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