She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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