Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
