I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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