Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
