The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
