how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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