you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
