Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
