if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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