I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
