how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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