Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
