I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
