And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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