She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
