omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
