if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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