We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
