dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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