How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize