Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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