True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
