I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Who died my cat blue again?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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