who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
