Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
