She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
