Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
