yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
