Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
