i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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