your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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