Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He kissed a someone with a penis
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize