so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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