things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
