I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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