Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
