So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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