I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I could fuck to npr.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
