READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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