He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize