No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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