Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
