Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
