i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
