I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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