I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
