I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
