I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
