do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize