If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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