Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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