i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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