Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
