Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I love you. Go after that dick
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize