Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
