He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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