I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
