I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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