Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
this is an emotional support booty call
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
