Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she looked like the before picture.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
