oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
