Porn is love you can see.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
