Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
