I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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