oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
