epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
