the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
