honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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