my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
