I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
